Flabby Like Me...

Well, today is the day my daughter said it. The sentiment that I knew would come but had been believing I'd someday outrun. 

"I'm not going to be flabby like you." 

There is a story here, a long, drawn-out, monster of a typical story. The same story of most over-weight people who have struggled with weight their whole lives have to tell. It's not unique, per se, but it's mine. Maybe some day I'll have the time and mental power to tell it all. 

The irony of the world being in the midst of a global pandemic and my starting a blog is not lost on me. That I'm worrying about something as silly as an off-handed comment by my innocent child...prompted me to start a blog? This was something I would do in my 20s. Does anyone even read blogs anymore?

But for now, I have 197 days. I turn 40 in 197 days and today I feel that in my heart and soul. I haven't even really cared about it until lockdown...as I saw what little progress I still had under my belt slip away in stress and anxiety. 

And here we are. I'm sure the stress and anxiety will only ramp up, but all I care about is how my impressionable daughter sees me. How much I let her down by returning to that place I swore I'd never go to again. 

Heh, I forgot how dramatic I could be at times. I really am usually a pretty positive person. 

Please, me of tomorrow, me of the next 197 days, don't forget how you felt in that moment. Don't wallow in it, but don't forget.